Paddy the Irish Minister of War phones Vladimir….his counterpart in Russia… and says “Vladimir, at ten o’clock Sunday morning….Ireland is declaring war on Russia”

Vladimir is a little taken aback by this….but manages to stay calm… and says “Why would you want to declare war on us…Ireland has no hope of beating Russia in a war?”

Paddy says….”Doesn’t matter….at ten o’clock Sunday morning, Ireland is declaring war on Russia.”

Well Vladimir thinks for a moment and asks Paddy how many planes do you have.

Paddy replies….. “four”.

Vladimir says good god Paddy……our initial strike force is four thousand strong….all armed with the latest weaponry. They are invincible.

Paddy says…”Doesn’t matter….at ten o’clock Sunday morning….Ireland is declaring war on Russia”

Vladimir then says……”OK Paddy, how many tanks do you have?” and Paddy replies “Seven”

Vladimir says….. “Paddy, we have over seventy thousand tanks, all with the latest armour plating…..you don’t stand a chance.”

and Paddy says…..”Doesn’t matter…at ten o’clock Sunday morning, Ireland is declaring war on Russia”.

Out of desparation Vladimir says….”Alright Paddy….how many troops do you have?” and Paddy replies “Three Thousand”

Vladimir says “Get real Paddy….our front line is three million strong” and Paddy says “three million…..just hang on a minute.”

Paddy puts the phone down and comes back in about twenty minutes and says “Vladimir…the war is off”

Vladimir says “hah….so we scared you with our might” and Paddy says “No…..we haven’t got enough room for all the prisoners we’re gonna take”.